Welcome to my mind

random rantage

2008-11-04T22:45:52Z

Okay... this issue has been going on for a while and I'm just now really ranting about it sooooo... here it is... it's random but it will get my mind off of it for a while.

My uncle has been pretty much giving me the cold shoulder the past few months about issues that some shan't be mentioned on a public website. I will say that he's being a child and he's pissed because I sided with my boyfriend over the unmentioned issue. (Lets just say the situation was not the best)

Of COURSE I sided with Mat! My uncle was being ridiculous! Not to mention he's an immature little -insert word here-. (I may have been extremely irritated with him the past few months but he's still family so I'm trying not to swear too much about him) The whole thing is just stupid I think but at the same time I'm just annoyed with everything he said and did to Mat! Okay... annoyed doesn't really explain it... how about pissed off?

About a day after the whole thing he tried to talk to me, not about the issue but about just forgetting the issue completely which means that he actually did do all the shit even when he said he didn't and "everything is a misunderstanding" blah blah blah! Wuhell! If it was just a misunderstanding then why would Mat be upset or uncomfortable?

Actually... you know what? Since this website is for writing your feelings and shit like that I will tell the story. Let's start with a long time ago.

Back in I don't know when but I know it was quite a few years ago, my uncle was arrested for molesting a young boy, nnooww I don't know the whole story about it... BUT! I do know it's true because I heard it from my mom, my aunt AND him sort-of.

Knowing this well I felt weird around him for the first couple of years spending a lot of time with him but he didn't try anything with me so I felt fine. The first time he met Mat, well it was a pretty good first impression for him. He liked Mat, everyone noticed. He pretty much flirted with him. (stupidly enough I didn't tell Mat the whole arresting thing but I didn't think for one that I should be telling people that and also I didn't think this would happen.)

My uncle is really handsy anyway, he'll give you a hug when he gets the chance, he's kind of overly touchy-feely. Well Mat and I stayed over there for a few nights. Family time, getting to know each other more, the usual thing you might do when you visit an aunt and uncle or cousin or grandparent. One of the nights there my uncle wanted to "party" with Mat. It's just his way to get to know people, you know, you open up more and what-not. Mat asked me if it would be okay because, well he had been doing really good with drugs he hadn't done any in a while I'm proud of him because he doesn't do that any more. (I've had the same problem as him except mostly with alcohol and cigarettes.)

The night they "partied" together Mat and my uncle were talking, (I wasn't there but Mat told me this story after the while problem with the first thing I was ranting about, which I will get to that story after I finish this.) they were doing the usual thing that we all do when we sit around in a room, just having conversation.

My uncle moved on to the couch next to Mat, sitting rreeeaaally close. I don't remember all that happened but what I remember most of Mat telling me was my uncle put his hand on his leg, and not just his leg his thigh, and not just his thigh his inner thigh, reaaaally close to his... well you get it. Mat said "whoa whoa I'm not that kind of guy" and thankfully he backed off.

NOW! on to the REAL part of this ranting journal entry.....

Well... it was getting toward the end of summer vacation. In a couple of weeks we were going to go to camp with my aunt and my uncle. My uncle called one day and asked Mat if he (and note I said HE) could go up to camp first for a few days and help with something. It was just going to be HIM and MAT there. Nobody else that WE knew of. This was a real uncomfortable situation. I hadn't known about the party night thing yet but I still was sketchy about the whole thing. And also I wanted to go up with Mat and see my uncle (of course this was before I was angry.)

After they got off the phone Mat and I talked and he seemed uncomfortable and he wanted me to go up there to. We talked to mom and she definitely was not comfortable with this situation. It just sounded.... well... sketchy. That weekend my mom and dad were going with my aunt and uncle to a concert. They were staying in a lean-to for a few nights so I thought "hey mom, could you try to convince my uncle to let me go up to camp to help with whatever too."

She did... and he was reaalllyy determined to have Mat go up there ALONE! He said I would be a distraction. (stupid excuse right?) mom was trying to convince him and it was the same thing when finally she said "I don't THINK he feels COMFORTABLE going there ALONE with you."

"No she can't go she will be a distraction."

That plan failed miserably.... of course what's the point in trying to make him change his mind? He's a stubborn child.

A few nights later I was at Mat's house and I don't remember if Mat called my uncle or vise-a-vers-a but I know SOMEHOW they were on the phone together talking about the whole thing. My uncle was reacting in a really strange way.... okay not strange but in a way where we knew that something was up. He just said that he wasn't being himself but we knew it would be a problem to lat Mat go up there. Finally Mat said that either I go with him or he doesn't go at all.

Well then there was some angry words, Mat was upset, in tears because my uncle was making an ass of himself. The last thing my uncle said, which makes absolutely no sense now that I think about it, was "Don't screw over my niece!"

This upset Mat even more.

Well I was pretty pissed, Mat was upset and it was because of my uncle, my own family! Then Mat told me about the whole "party night" thing and I was even more pissed.

I tried to talk to my uncle and he said the whole thing was a misunderstanding, we should just forget about the whole thing. Now we're back at the beginning!

I got mad at him for upsetting Mat and now he's pissed at me because I took Mat's side.

Now I have a question for all of you readers (if there are any).......

Whose side would you have taken?

Mat's

or my uncle's?

I think I know what your answers might be but I just want to know if there are any crazy or stupid people out there who would take the opposite road that I drove down. You go that way you're hitting a tree buddy.

Surprisingly.... I feel a little better now.... And I was already in a good-ish mood.... :D

Writer's Block: A Conspiracy of Beards

2008-11-03T15:16:03Z

November is National Beard Month. Muttonchops, Van Dyke, goatee, soul patch, ZZ Top–style—tell us about your own wild and woolly facial fuzz. Even better, post a picture.

Submitted By cwcsonichu

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I like my husband's scruffy :D and the one down south.... teddy bear is cute :D

Writer's Block: The Undead

2008-10-27T22:58:56Z

With Halloween on the horizon, burning questions about the undead need to be answered: Can being a zombie be considered suffering?

Submitted By destynnee

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Pff! NO! If you became a zombie you would be able to go around grunting and eating people's brains without others questioning you, they would either be doing the same or running away from you in fear! Well, yeah you're slow and pretty much retarded as a zombie but think of this: would you rather be the zombie biting people and turning other people into zombies or would you like to be the victim?

ALSO! Being killed by a zombie is WAY better than being killed by a murderer. With a zombie you would be able to come back to life... sort of. If you get killed by a murderer then well... you never come back to life. :D

Now that's what I call F-U-N FUN! ^^

great

2008-10-13T14:20:50Z

so far today sucks.

i dont know all week last week mat and i have been arguing a lot. and over the weekend and this morning we had a bit of an argument. im being a total bitch i know it and i wish i could just learn to not take everything so seriously and cry over every little fucking detail!!

this morning i lost a really important paper that i have been working very hard on the past few weeks and i really have to get it finished. but i guess im just going to give up on it because everything has been going wrong anyway.

this year i was supposed to stay caught up with my work, i am, but im still missing some things and this paper is a big part of my grade which stupidly enough i dont keep track of.

this morning i've been treating mat like shit so i just want to curl up somewhere and just shut up for a while. i shouldnt even talk to anybody im just going to be a bitch anyway...

this website is fun

2008-10-08T15:55:47Z

http://artpad.art.com/artpad/painter/

you can make pretty pictures and then watch them get painted after. :D

Writer's Block: Eat Your Vegetables

2008-10-08T15:05:31Z

The fall harvest is showing up in markets now, including many of the green vegetables children find so disgusting and yet are forced to eat. What is the most disgusting thing you’ve eaten, either by choice or against your will?

Submitted By bloodcurdling

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the most disgusting thing i have ever eaten... i have to say is tofu. its not that taste though its the texture. it makes me want to throw up in someone's lap.

Writer's Block: Personal Holidays

2008-10-08T14:45:40Z

These days, there's a holiday for everything from punctuation to pie. If you could create your own holiday, what would it be and how would you celebrate?

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my holiday would be cheesecake day. i would celebrate by eating all different kinds of cheesecake until i am ready to explode. :D

sickly-ness sucks

2008-06-29T01:07:00Z

I got to go to the ER last night.

I got really sick and I was throwing up so much that my arms started tingling and going numb. It sucked 'cause they had to stick me with a couple needles. They took three tubes of my blood and I had to have an IV. I was there until like 1:30 in the morning. Left from the house to go there at like 10:30-11 so I wasn't there for too long.

When I first vomited last night for a little while I had two black eyes. Like I broke my nose or something. It was weird. And I strained a muscle in my jaw. O.o

Mat called me like right after and if he didn't call and tell me to wake my mom up I probably would be worse off than I am now.

The two good things about last night, one, Mat called right on time, two, the nurse and the doctor were quite good looking. hehe

Well... I'm still feeling a little icky.... getting kinda sick to my stomach again. I probably should go to bed or something.

night all

oy

2008-06-12T23:00:27Z

I'm having difficulties breathing.

I've had such a shitty day.

I just want to die right now....

Suspended

2008-06-11T14:44:36Z

Yeah! I'm fucking suspended! -is pissed-

Yesterday I went to Mat's house after school. I rode the bus home with him of course. His bus driver is a deuche bag, he's pissed me off enough already and yesterday he made Mat sit in the front of the bus and me sit in the back of the bus.

Well I was already pissed for one, you know that, but that set me off even more. On the ride home Mat and I were screaming back and forth across the bus talking to each other, and with a couple of my friends when they were getting off I would scream "bye" repeatedly, and very loudly.

Finally it came to our stop, I got off the bus turned around and yelled "HEY! JIM!" and I flipped him off when he looked at me.

Let's see.... it was off school property.... off school grounds.... and after school hours.... the handbook says that if it's on school property, on school grounds, etc. I shouldn't get in trouble for it.

WELL GUESS WHAT! I'M FUCKING SUSPENDED FOR IT! And I'm SURE if it was anyone else who did it... they would have gotten off SCOTT FREE!!!

FUCK TWINFIELD! You know.... if It wasn't for Mat and some of my good friends at school, I probably would have dropped out by now. At least out of Twinfield!

I fucking hate Twinfield. Owen Bradly is a fucking asshole and I hope he suffers and dies a terrible death.

STOP FUCKING TARGETING ME!!!!

Writer's Block: Banished to Space.

2008-06-09T11:25:35Z

If you were exiled to outer space, where would you be sent and what would you bring along?

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I'd be sent to Jupiter and I would bring my boyfriend, the internet, and my sketchbook.... and of course some food and water which is really necessary.

I'm not cool

2008-06-09T02:13:13Z

I seriously am not cool, and I don't care.

You know why?

Because I'm proud to be me... it's who I am. If I wanted to be someone else..... what would be the point of living? Because that's all I'm ever going to be.

But shit, I'm not complaining. I'd much rather be myself than any other fucking person. I am me, just me, I am myself through and through and if anyone has any problem with it, or are "scared" of me for it....

what the hell is your problem?

If you don't like me, you don't have to come near me. If you don't like me, you don't have to talk to me. If you don't like me..... I don't care.

Writer's Block: Funniest Thing Ever.

2008-06-04T11:43:54Z

Out of all the funny things that have ever happened to you, which experience still cracks you up?

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aahhh... lol you dont want to know the details.

I'm at school so I can't swear... that would be wrong.

2008-05-27T12:48:34Z

I will replace every swear with the word flabby.

Well Mat and I have a flabby detention today because Owen is a mother flabby assflab (oops)

Supposedly we were doing flabby PDA flabby during school last flabby week, so I'm flabby pissed.

Oh well better get it flabby over with without a right, or else I'll flabby go flabby insane.

flabby you

Writer's Block: Perfect Sandwich

2008-05-27T11:27:16Z

Describe your perfect sandwich, layer by layer.

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uhh.... sourdough bread...... mayonaise.... mustard..... some thick slices of cheese. put that in a pan on the stove on about 4 or 5...... flip until maybe a dark golden brown color.... if the cheese isnt melted all the way put it in the microwave for a few seconds.....

i call it grill-ed cheese

Writer's Block: Your Theme

2008-05-20T11:40:24Z

If your daily life had a theme song, what would it be?

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hahahahahahaha your problem now by mindless self indulgence. :) if you know me you have to deal with me^^

hooray!

2008-05-16T14:14:26Z

six months ago today Mat asked me out. :) we're going to go to applebee's for dinner tonight and he's going to stay at my house all weekend, we're going to spend so much time together and im so excited.

^^ i've been looking forward to this the past couple of months.

Writer's Block: The sound of inspiration

2008-05-16T14:12:45Z

What type of music inspires you?

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it usually depends on my mood but some of the time its the slow maybe sad or just mellow music that inspires me for anything. mostly drawing and other artistic stuff. maybe occasionally a story or poem.

Writer's Block: Pick an era, any era

2008-05-12T18:01:07Z

If you had to pick a time period to live in, which would you choose? Why?

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This question seems a little familiar.

umm.... idk maybe any era before the earth was polluted so much... when it was healthier to take a breath outside.

Writer's Block: Step into My Closet

2008-05-08T11:38:08Z

How many pair of shoes do you have? Out of those pairs, how many do you wear more than a few times a year?

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I have four pairs of shoes and i only wear two or three of them more than a few times a year. i have flip flops for summer (i hate wearing shoes anyway so i wear flip flops in summer when i go places because its closer to no shoes than sneakers are) and i have two pairs of "sneakers" which are really just cheap knock offs of converse.

and that fourth pair is just shit stompers for when im going some place muddy or something.

Fuck people

2008-05-05T19:26:42Z

Why do people think they can say shit about people when they don't even fucking know anything about them?

I admit I say a lot of shit about people but they're people that I KNOW and that I KNOW are assholes. Like, for example, my two recent exes.... they are fucking assholes.

My most recent ex was talking shit about one of my and Mat's friends today during school. I'm proud of Mat he got up and stood up for her, too. As I..... just sat and didn't say a word about it because I didn't want to talk to the asshole. Mat had the guts to do something I have been wanting to do, but never really got to because I knew that I would end up getting shit for it or SOMETHING...

blah.... I want to take a nap.

Writer's Block: Personality Trait = Trouble

2008-04-30T11:34:11Z

What personality trait has gotten you in the most trouble?

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Sarcasm. lol that has gotten me in a lot of trouble many many times.

Writer's Block: Ghost Story

2008-04-28T20:03:46Z

Do you believe in ghosts? If so, have you ever seen one?

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yes i do and i kind of have.

my house i think is haunted by a cat ghost. i've seen it skit across the floor while i've been walking. its an all white cat and my cats are dark.

Writer's Block: House Call

2008-04-27T18:42:39Z

Whose house (besides your own) were you in last and why?

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my aunt and uncle's because we can!

Writer's Block: Back in Time

2008-04-16T16:19:45Z

If you could travel in time, which era would you visit and why?

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the year three thousand.... because......... well i dont really know.....

=D